Goal #2253: See if There is a Book so Awful That I Can't Finish Reading it

Originally, I thought this goal was going to be accomplished by reading a book that was written so poorly that it would be too laborous and painful to read. I have read many books and only a few of them were so badly written that I couldn't finish them. Some were so self-serving that I knew the only intent the author had in writing the book was to brag about how awesome he is. Others were so poorly researched that it was embarrassing to think someone would write and publish such trash. Some quickly established the fact that the author had no clue what he was talking about.

 

But there is one book that I will always remember as the absolutely most horrifying book I ever tried to read. I will not give the title of the book because I want no part in getting anyone else to read such a horrible book as this one. It was written by an author who interviewed men who had served as guards in German Nazi concentration camps throughout Europe during WWII. He wanted to get a picture of what happened at these camps from their perspective of the men who served as guards.

 

What I read in this book was some of the most horrid and gruesome accounts of man’s inhumanity to man I have ever encountered. In some macabre way, I was fascinated to read how these men justified what they were doing. Many actually believed that Jews were a subhuman species and needed to be destroyed so as not to pollute the superior human race. Others went mad because of their involvement in carrying out such inhuman orders given them by their "superiors." Some took such great joy and delight in displaying their brutality. This book gave me an insight into the tortured minds of men who knew they were doing the most awful things they could possibly do to other people.

 

I read about a third of the book and finally had to stop because it was simply so awful. I was literally getting sick to my stomach. Months later when the trauma wore off I picked up the book to see if I could finish it. After only a chapter or two I had to quite again. This continued until I got about two thirds of the way through the book. I finally had to just throw it away. I was so disturbed by what I was reading that I tore the book to pieces and burned it so that no one else would get hold of this book.

 

Now, you have to understand that I am a bibliophile and I don’t destroy books. And I NEVER burn them!! But I did NOT want anyone else to read this mind numbing book. I felt I would be doing something morally wrong by donating this book to any place that would make it possible for others to read it. It was an amazingly powerful book; powerful in a tortured terrible way.

Goal #102: Experience the Indian Hindu Holi Festival (Festival of Colors)

If you haven't ever experienced the Indian Holi Festival or Festival of Colors, you really need to do it. I'm not sure where else they celebrate it in the United States but I know for sure that it's celebrated every year in March in Spanish Fork, Utah. Of course, you could fly to India and celebrate it like a native, which I think would be a zillion times better but going to Utah is a lot quicker, a lot less expensive and you won't come down with any exotic diseases that lays you low for a month.

The Holi Festival used to be celebrated by throwing petals of fresh flowers but now they use colored corn starch. The colors are brilliant and vivid which makes throwing the colors a LOT of fun. When you go, go with the undestanding that you will be coughing up colored corn starch for a week after you get back from the celebration. And you will be sneezing it out of your nose and digging it out of your ears as well. Let me tell you from personal experience, be sure to bring something to cover your car seats because the colored corn starch will get every place that isn't covered, including your seat belts. Trust me on this one. If you don't take some protective measures then you'll be getting colors on your clothes for weeks after.

The celebration in Spanish Fork started small but each year several hundred new attendees show up. The last time I went, there were thousands of people in attendance. Last year my friends told me that it nearly doubled in size from the previous year. It's a two day celebration with music, food and tons of colored corn starch.

One word of warning. Come with the understanding that very few people are going to restrain themselves. The entire time you're there people will be throwing handfuls of colored powder on your clothes, in your hair and often directly in your face. YOU WILL GET IT IN YOUR EYES!!  Understand that from the beginning. Do NOT wear contact lenses for heaven sakes. If you're worried about getting it in your eyes, wear goggles. Most people don't worry about it, though. If you do get an eyeful, just find a fountain or a bottle of water and wash it out. You'll be OK.

The important thing is to remember is not to get wigged out about people throwing colored powder all over you. Just chill and have fun. I promise you that it's an experinece unlike anything you have every done before. It's a mad house but it's soooooooooooo much fun. Look it up on the net to see what others are saying about it. It'a also good to read about how it started and why they burn the witch for part of the activities.

Watch the You Tube video below. This gives you at least a little bit of a taste of what you're in for if you decide to come.

Goal #2252: Do a Polar Ice Plunge

 

Whoa, what an absolutely awesome experience. To begin with, you have to understand how much I HATE being cold. That’s one of the reasons I put this on my bucket list. I wanted to do something that I knew would really test my resolve to face my fears and those things I dislike doing.

 

My nephew John G. learned about my bucket list and asked if I would be interested in knocking off the ice plunge challenge while he was in Utah. I couldn’t say no to the challenge so we decided then and there that we were going to do it before he left to return to Florida.

 

The weather wasn’t the most inviting for an ice plunge. We had an inversion layer sitting over our valley so temperatures were in the single digits. The day we went there was no sunshine to warm things up, even a few degrees and there was a breeze of icy arctic air blowing down Provo canyon. It was COOOOOLLLLLDDDD!!

 

Several other family members were there to film and photograph the event as well as to give moral support (to make sure we didn’t chicken out at the last minute.) There were 3 of us doing the plunge; John, my son Dan and I.

 

We putzed around a bit in order to work up some courage. Then John decided that it was time to take the plunge. He bolted into the water. He came out of the water with a loud scream of victory. He was delighted to see that there was no heart attack and that his limbs still had their full functions. No sign of shock!  Very good. Dan and I got with the spirit of John’s joy and ran in, laid down in the stream and let the water flow over our bodies.

 

I was surprised that it wasn’t as traumatic as I expected it to be. The thermometer showed that the outside air was 11 degrees and the wind chill knocked it down another 8 to 10 degrees. The water was frozen solid except where the rapids were keeping the water moving too fast to freeze.

 

We got back to the cars where the heaters were going full blast. The warm air was heavenly on our numb feet and legs. The adrenaline was still running through our bodies and we felt invincible. It was the greatest feeling. I realized that I could do this again and actually enjoy it. The fear was gone; replaced by the excitement of doing something I dreaded but knew I must do. What an awesome experience that was. Everyone needs to do something like that, if for nothing else, then to see what it’s like to live life way out of your comfort zone.

Goal #199: Do a Night Dive with Scuba Gear

My first night dive took place when I was visiting my brother in Puerto Rico. Dan had a dive shop so getting the equipment was no problem and he knew the terrain. I was still in the process of becoming scuba certified. After diving for no more than a couple of days, Dan decided to take me out for a night dive.

My night dive was nothing like I had expected; not in my wildest dreams. You can see only as far as the beam of your flashlight projects into the dark of the ocean, which was about 8 feet in front of me and about 2 feet wide. The light illuminated the eyes of thousands shrimp, giving the dark abyss in front of me the sense that there are thousands of dancing spirits in front of me. I never would have dared to go if Dan wasn’t right by me. However, many times I lost sight of Dan’s light beam, leaving me alone in the black emptiness of the ocean. It was on this night dive that I swam into a sea cave and happened upon a shark that was swimming quietly about. You cannot possibly image what thoughts went through my mind when I saw that shark. I wasted no time getting out of there, always looking back, expecting that I was going to be supper to some shark at any moment. Night diving was one of those experiences that just can’t be replicated. It was a remarkable adrenalin rush!

Goal #2122: I Want to Hear my Father Tell me that He's Proud of Me

I feel like I’ve always been a disappointment to my dad. I was the first son who never joined the military. The military was a big deal for dad. He was an army man and in the National Guards till the day he died at age 89. He was an honor guard for more than 1,000 vet funerals. I watched his face when the brother just above me received his commission as a commissioned officer. I have never seen my father show so much pride as he was that night.

I disappointed Dad when I joined the LDS faith and decided to serve a 2 year mission rather than go into the military. He thought I was using the mission to avoid serving in the Viet Nam war.

When I went to college he couldn’t understand why I needed to spend all that time and money getting a college education. He told me I’d be much better off finding a job with a company that would give me a good pension plan. When I went on for a Master’s degree, he was quite upset with me. He told me that I was afraid to work in the real world and I was neglecting my family.

My path in life was never the path he had hoped I would follow. He wanted me to be like he was and I could never do that. I just couldn’t live the life he had planned for me and be happy.

When Dad was about 85 years old, we were driving to the airport so I could catch a plane back home. All the way to the airport he kept asking about my brothers and sisters and how they were doing. After about half an hour of this, he finally said, “You know Steve, I’m really proud of you. You’ve done well with your life and you will have a good retirement. You’ve taken good care of your family. You’ve made me proud.”  I could hardly believe that I was actually hearing this from my own father. I had given up on that dream long ago. I waited a long time to hear him say those words but the wait was was worth it. Dad died a few years after that.

Goal # 39: Do Something that Truly Tests My Limits

I'm not sure if it's a guy thing or if everyone gets this feeling, but I have always wanted to see what the limit of my endurance is. I'm not sure I'm willing to go out and see how close I can come to death just to see what I can endure, but I have always wanted to see if I can do the really hard stuff.



Some of the things I've done that were hard, at least for me, were: 

• In 1971 and again in 1972 I ran a 50 mile marathon at Laguna Beach, California. In the first marathon I took 14th place and ran it in 12 hours and 46 minutes. The second year I took 5th place with a finish time of 8 hours and 23 minutes. 
• I spent 2 years serving as a missionary in a country that I was totally unaccustomed to and that was ruled by a dictator who declared Marshall Law which lasted the entire 2 years I lived there. 
• Raise 4 children
• Be a scout master
• Extended fasting
• Watch a little child die
• See someone starve to death
• Allow myself to be stung by several bees at once to build up immunity to the swelling that comes from bee stings

I think the lesson I learned from each of the experiences mentioned above is that we can survive, and in fact, thrive, doing things that we never thought we could do. That's a lesson that changes you. I have learned that I really can do things I never thought I could. It's not easy and in some cases, it's not fun. But in the end, you come out of it a changed person and it's worth it.

Goal #2021: Eat a McRib Sandwich from McDonalds

As a general rule, I usually refuse to eat anything from McDonalds, and I mean ANYTHING!  But I discovered something that even I can't resist. It's called the McRib sandwich. I just can’t say no to that morsel from heaven.

The BBQ sauce is sooooo good and the meat like substance is so tender. But of course, I generally like almost anything that is an "extruded" product. (Yes, yes, yes. I know. That extruded stuff is probably going to kill me but we all have to go sooner or later don't we.) I always have them go heavy on the onions.

 

I don’t know what part of the animal they make those “ribs” from (many of my friends doubt there is any real meat in these “rib” sandwiches). I’m not sure but I don’t think it comes from any animals on the endangered species list and I feelfairly confident that it doesn't come from a creature with more than 4 legs, but I won't bet on that. My mom always told me, "What you don't know won't hurt you," and that seems like pretty good advice in this case. But whatever they make that rib like meat substance from, it’s awfully good tasting stuff. Keep'em coming McDs!!

Goal #2022: Stop and Give a Sincere, Heartfelt "Good Morning" Salutation to a Nun

I really like Nuns. I’m serious. Growing up, one of my favorite TV shows was The Flying Nun. To this day Sally Fields can do no wrong in my book because in my mind, she was a very nice (albeit a bit odd with all that flying and stuff) nun for all of my childhood.

All of the nuns I’ve ever known were so pleasant and kind. But then again, I never had to go to a Catholic school and have a nun be my teacher. But for me, my past experiences with nuns has been positive. Have you ever noticed that Nuns smile a lot? They really do. They genuinely seem to be very happy people. They smile a lot and they have always been quite kind to me. Even when I was a missionary and stopped to talk to them, they were very polite and tolerant of my differing religious views. Of course, I made it a point never to debate religion with a Nun. It always seemed to be in poor taste to do such a thing.

The way I see it, anyone who makes a promise to dedicate her entire life to Christ and marries herself to him, not getting any of the advantages of a real and tangible husband, has got to be a pretty remarkable woman. The very least I can do when I see them is to be sincerely cordial and give them a heartfelt and meaningful salutation with hopes for a very pleasant day. They deserve that and so much more.   

Goal # 2123: Take and Pass the Test to Become a Untited States Citizen

ALRIGHT!!!! I am a citizen of the United States!!! Actually, I was born one, but if I hadn’t been one, I would be now because I just passed the test to become a United States citizen. The test is made up of 96 questions. I got a score of 95% correct. I messed up on a couple questions about how long terms are in the senate and in the house and 2 other questions that I just didn't know the answers to. But 91 out of 95 questions correct is a pretty good score. I guess I know my American history pretty good. Of course, it helps that I got my undergraduate degree in history.

 

Goal #203: Find Something Unique and Bizzare in the Mountains

When my brother Tom and I were hiking up to the summit of San Jacinto, by chance we found the remains of a dead mountain climber. Her name was Brittany. How do we know that?  Well, here’s the rest of the story.

As Tom and I climbed down into a crevice to get out of the wind, we found a small wooden box, measuring about 6 inches long by 4 inches wide by 3 inches deep. On the top of the box was inscribed a short message. It said, “Here rests the remains of a dead mountain climber. Please do not disturb.” On the back of the box was the name Brittany. No last name.

From what we can piece together, it appears that Brittany was an avid climber and outdoor lover. We have no clue what she died of but it appears that family or friends cremated her body and brought a portion of her ashes to the summit of San Jacinto Mountain where she can enjoy a new sunrise each and every day. I thought it was a wonderful tribute for someone who surely must have loved being in such a glorious place.