Originally, I thought this goal was
going to be accomplished by reading a book that was written so poorly that
it would be too laborous and painful to read. I have read many books and only a few of them were so badly written that I couldn't finish them. Some were so self-serving that I knew the only
intent the author had in writing the book was to brag about how awesome he is. Others were so poorly researched that it was embarrassing to think
someone would write and publish such trash. Some quickly established the
fact that the author had no clue what he was talking about.
But there is one book that I will
always remember as the absolutely most horrifying book I ever tried to read. I will not give the title of the book because I want no part in getting anyone else to read such a horrible book as this one. It
was written by an author who interviewed men who had served as guards in German
Nazi concentration camps throughout Europe during WWII. He wanted to get a picture of what
happened at these camps from their perspective of the men who served as guards.
What I read in this book was some of
the most horrid and gruesome accounts of man’s inhumanity to man I have ever
encountered. In some macabre way, I was fascinated to read how these men justified
what they were doing. Many actually believed that Jews were a subhuman species
and needed to be destroyed so as not to pollute the superior human race. Others
went mad because of their involvement in carrying out such inhuman orders given them by their "superiors." Some
took such great joy and delight in displaying their brutality. This book gave
me an insight into the tortured minds of men who knew they were doing the most
awful things they could possibly do to other people.
I read about a third of the book and
finally had to stop because it was simply so awful. I was literally getting sick to my stomach. Months later when the
trauma wore off I picked up the book to see if I could finish it. After only a
chapter or two I had to quite again. This continued until I got about two
thirds of the way through the book. I finally had to just throw it away. I was so
disturbed by what I was reading that I tore the book to pieces and burned it so that no one else would get hold of this book.
Now, you have to understand that I am
a bibliophile and I don’t destroy books. And I NEVER burn them!! But I did NOT
want anyone else to read this mind numbing book. I felt I would be doing
something morally wrong by donating this book to any place that would make it
possible for others to read it. It was an amazingly powerful book; powerful in
a tortured terrible way.